Douchebag of the Week: Mel Gibson's Wife

So, as I make my triumphant return to the blogspot world I decided to start off with a rant. (Shout out to Lady for the scoop on this one) Some women are great ladies...and some bitches aint shit. Mel Gibsons wife is one of them bitches. After 28 years of living the dream life she up and decides to divorce Mel. Here's the kicker though. They aint have no prenup. Uh oh. California state law requires the breadwinner to give up half automatically. No if ands or buts about it. This bitch is gonna get like 450 million dollars! That's not it either. She also wants alimony and attorney fees. Why not take his kidneys or left nut sack while you're at it? This bitch been laid up in the mansion not doin shit but spending money and eatin bon bons living swell of that "Passion Of The Christ" money. In what world is this fair?!! I mean yes, Mel should have had more sense than to be a Hollywood celebrity, get married and have no prenup but damn! This bitch is heartless. So congratulations Mel Gibson's wife, you are the douchebag of the week.

-KRIZZ

Douchebags of the week: Viacom

It's my last douchebag for the year so here we go. So here's how much Viacom gives a fuck about it's viewers. If they don't come to some sort of agreement with Time Warner by Thursday at 12:01 a.m. they may very well pull the plug on 16 channels. We're talkin MTV, VH-1, Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, the list goes on an on. My kids like to watch Noggin and Nicktoons you sons of bitches!!! SpongeBob still makes me laugh to this day. I watch all your shitty shows like "I Love Money" and "Charm School". Watching that shit drunk is one of the highlights of my weekend and you want to take that away from me? Well FUCK YOU VIACOM and FUCK YOU TIME WARNER!! How are you going to shit on the motherfuckers who are putting all those millions in your pockets? Keep your little money beefs between you and Time Warner and don't involve the public. Just let us have our cheap thrills, with your shitty shows, and y'all can go and sit down somewhere and shut the fuck up.

P.S. Thanks for all the love this year. Hope everyone has a great 2009!!! 1 luv.

Krizz



'Colbert,' 'SpongeBob' may go dark on Time Warner
By RYAN NAKASHIMA, AP Business Writer Ryan Nakashima, Ap Business Writer – 2 hrs 40 mins ago

LOS ANGELES – "SpongeBob SquarePants" might get squeezed off Time Warner Cable.
Media giant Viacom Inc. said its Nickelodeon, MTV, Comedy Central and 16 other channels will go dark for 13 million subscribers at 12:01 a.m. Thursday if a new carriage fee deal with Time Warner Cable Inc. is not agreed upon by then.
The impasse would mean "SpongeBob" and other popular shows like Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show" and Stephen Colbert's "The Colbert Report" will be cut off on the nation's second-largest cable operator. Time Warner Cable primarily serves people in New York state, the Carolinas, Ohio, Southern California and Texas.
Viacom has asked for fee increases of between 22 percent and 36 percent per channel, or a total of $39 million more, an amount that could increase customers' cable bills, said Time Warner Cable spokesman Alex Dudley.
"The issue is that they have asked for an exorbitant increase in their carriage fees and their network ratings are sagging," Dudley said. "Basically we're trying to hold the line for our customer."
Viacom spokeswoman Kelly McAndrew disputed the figure, saying Viacom requested an increase in the very low double-digit percentage range.
Viacom said the increases would cost an extra 23 cents a month per subscriber. It said that Americans spend a fifth of their TV time watching Viacom shows but its fees make up less than 2.5 percent of the Time Warner cable bill.
"We make this request because Time Warner Cable has so greatly undervalued our channels for so long," Viacom said.
"Ultimately, however, if Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, MTV and the rest of our programming is discontinued — over less than a penny per day — we believe viewers will see this behavior by their cable company as outrageous," Viacom said.
Time Warner Cable's Dudley said Viacom rejected his company's proposal to extend the contract while the sides continue to negotiate.
Instead, Viacom appealed directly to Time Warner Cable's customers, with TV ads in major markets. In Wednesday's New York Times, the company ran a full-page, color advertisement with Nickelodeon's animated bilingual heroine "Dora the Explorer" crying and clinging to her monkey pal, Boots.
"Why is Dora crying?" the ad asks. "Time Warner Cable is taking Dora off the air tonight!" The ad urges viewers to call Time Warner Cable and demand that their favorite shows remain on the air.
If the shows go dark after midnight, Time Warner Cable will send people to the Internet to catch episodes. Dudley said the cable operator also will make available a video teaching people how to hook their computers up to the TV to watch online shows — a tactic it used during a contract dispute with broadcaster LIN TV in October.
Part of the disagreement is that most of Viacom's popular shows are rerun on Web sites where Viacom collects advertising revenue that it does not share with Time Warner, Dudley said. "We don't think that's fair," he said.
Viacom has staked much of its revenue-growth prospects on its ability to extract higher carriage rates out of its cable and satellite affiliates despite an ad slowdown and weak ratings.
In the third quarter, media network revenue, which accounts for about two-thirds of Viacom's total, grew 6 percent to $2.1 billion, despite global ad revenue falling 2 percent, largely because of double-digit percentage growth in affiliate fees and the success of its "Rock Band" video game.
Viacom shares rose 45 cents, 2.3 percent, to $19.71 in late morning trading Wednesday. Time Warner Cable shares lost 39 cents, 1.8 percent, to $21.37.
The channels that would be affected are: Comedy Central, CMT: Pure Country, Logo, Palladia, MTV, MTV 2, MTV Hits, MTV Jams, MTV Tr3s, Nickelodeon, Noggin, Nick 2, Nicktoons, Spike, The N, TV Land, VH1, VH1 Classic, and VH1 Soul.

Douchebag of the week: Jim Jones

After a few weeks of giving our celebrities a break I thought I would start off this week with a bang. Why Jim Jones you ask? I mean after Jay-Z shat upon him with his "We Fly High/Ballin" diss and the Birg Gang seeming more like a flock of pigeons why pick on poor Jimmy? Well I heard that he is now putting the "N" word and "B" word to rest. "Well, why is that a bad thing Krizz?" Because in place of them he wants to put the names Obama and Michelle respectively. Yes. He did. Example: "Oh yeah, Taz? That's my Obama right there." Or,"I love them phat booty Michelles'." Get it. Yeah, if this is what's poppin in the streets I'm turning in my hood card. So I propose that instead of calling Jim Jones, well, Jim Jones, we should call him ASSHOLE whenever we see him. Example: "Hey asshole, I heard your new single. That joint is hot!" Or,"Hey asshole, I love the dipset. BALLIN!!" Get it. So congrats to you Jim Jones. You are the Douchebag of the Week. Thanks for trying to set us back another 40 years.

Krizz

Douchebag of the week: This guy named...Mystery

Yes you heard me correctly. His name is Mystery. So in another attempt to further ruin television the geniuses at Viacom decided to pursue this idea. Now I am told that this show was on last season but I somehow missed it...unfortunately. As far as entertainment value goes this show is great. It involves this guy pictured above. He goes by the name of Mystery. lol. Mystery goes on to tell how he was a geek who never got any pussy, girls told him they were only friends, blah blah blah...Then one day he sat down and came up with a magic formula that would make any woman attracted to him. lol. Supposedly now he can get any chick he wants. I guess what's hard for me to believe is how anyone could take him seriously with that hat on. So he has a show where he takes a few dudes who either haven't had sex or have had sex one time 7 years ago. He then, by the end of the series, is supposed to turn one of them into..."The Pick-Up Artist". The ultimate pussy gettin' machine. I guess what troubles me is I just can't imagine this guy bangin a shit load of chicks. I mean I could see where he would walk in the club with that furry hat on and some drunk chick would strike up a conversation with him about the fuzzy hat and they would laugh and he might get her number cause she's pissy drunk and he would call the next day and she would be like "who's this?" and he would be like "Mystery" and she would be like "that weirdo from the club with the furry hat on?" and he would be like "yeah" and she would be like "lose my number" and hang up. I could see that happening. But not him actually fuckin anybody. No way. Anyways, congrats to you Mystery, you are the Douchbag of the Week. You can wear that title along with them hats.

Krizz

Douchebags of the week: The AIG CEO's

You have got to be kidding me. Seriously? So here's the deal. ONE WEEK after the bailout of AIG, the CEO came up with this marvelous idea. They thought it would be great to send their top execs on a vacation to discuss the business of the company. The vacation was complete with spa treatments and everything else rich douchebags love. The bill totaled over 440,00 dollars! These same mutherfuckers who we just bailed out with our tax money are spending it on spa baths?!! How many times do we have to be fucked by the long dick of the wealthy before anyone starts to pay attention?!! These are the fuck faces who we just gave 85 billion dollars to and they take the money and go get massages and pedicures and shit. I am heated. If they don't have to pay that money back then I don't see why I should have to pay taxes. I mean fair is fair right? Shit like this is just furthering my need to become stupid rich. I see that once you are rich you can do, basically, any fuckin thing you fuckin want to. I'm gonna go and have a smoke. I'm stressed...

Krizz

Execs' posh retreat after bailout angers lawmakers

By ANDREW TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer Tue Oct 7, 10:57 PM ET
WASHINGTON - Days after it got a federal bailout, American International Group Inc. spent $440,000 on a posh California retreat for its executives, complete with spa treatments, banquets and golf outings, according to lawmakers investigating the company's meltdown.

AIG sent its executives to the coastal St. Regis resort south of Los Angeles even as the company tapped into an $85 billion loan from the government it needed to stave off bankruptcy. The resort tab included $23,380 worth of spa treatments for AIG employees, according to invoices the resort turned over to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.
The retreat didn't include anyone from the financial products division that nearly drove AIG under, but lawmakers still were enraged over thousands of dollars spent on outing for executives of AIG's main U.S. life insurance subsidiary.
"Average Americans are suffering economically. They're losing their jobs, their homes and their health insurance," the committee's chairman, Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., scolded the company during a lengthy opening statement at a hearing Tuesday. "Yet less than one week after the taxpayers rescued AIG, company executives could be found wining and dining at one of the most exclusive resorts in the nation."
Former AIG CEO Robert Willumstad, who lost his job a day after the Federal Reserve put up the $85 billion on Sept. 16, said he was not familiar with the conference and would not have gone along with it.
"It seems very inappropriate," Willumstad said in response to questioning from Rep. Elijah Cummings, D-Md.
"Those executives should be fired," Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama said at a debate with Sen. John McCain on Tuesday, referring to the retreat participants. Obama also said AIG should give the Treasury $440,000 to cover the costs of the retreat.
But Eric Dinallo, superintendent of the New York State Insurance Department, said he could see the value of such a retreat under the circumstances.
"Having been at large global companies and knowing what condition AIG was in ... the absolute worst thing that could have happened" would have been for employees and underwriters in its life insurance subsidiary to flee the company.
"I do agree there is some profligate spending there, but the concept of bringing all the major employees together ... to ensure that the $85 billion could be as greatly as possible paid back would have been not a crazy corporate decision," Dinallo told the House committee.
The hearing disclosed that AIG executives hid the full range of its risky financial products from auditors as losses mounted, according to documents released by the committee, which is examining the chain of events that forced the government to bail out the conglomerate.
The panel sharply criticized AIG's former top executives, who cast blame on each other for the company's financial woes.
"You have cost my constituents and the taxpayers of this country $85 billion and run into the ground one of the most respected insurance companies in the history of our country," said Rep. Carolyn Maloney, D-N.Y. "You were just gambling billions, possibly trillions of dollars."
AIG, crippled by huge losses linked to mortgage defaults, was forced last month to accept the $85 billion government loan that gives the U.S. the right to an 80 percent stake in the company.
Waxman unveiled documents showing AIG executives hid the full extent of the firm's risky financial products from auditors, both outside and inside the firm, as losses mounted.
For instance, federal regulators at the Office of Thrift Supervision warned in March that "corporate oversight of AIG Financial Products ... lack critical elements of independence." At the same time, PricewaterhouseCoopers confidentially warned the company that the "root cause" of its mounting problems was denying internal overseers in charge of limiting AIG's exposure access to what was going on in its highly leveraged financial products branch.
Waxman also released testimony from former AIG auditor Joseph St. Denis, who resigned after being blocked from giving his input on how the firm estimated its liabilities.
Three former AIG executives were summoned to appear before the hearing. One of them, Maurice "Hank" Greenberg — who ran AIG for 38 years until 2005 — canceled his appearance citing illness but submitted prepared testimony. In it, he blamed the company's financial woes on his successors, former CEOs Martin Sullivan and Willumstad.
"When I left AIG, the company operated in 130 countries and employed approximately 92,000 people," Greenberg said. "Today, the company we built up over almost four decades has been virtually destroyed."
Sullivan and Willumstad, in turn, cast much of the blame on accounting rules that forced AIG to take tens of billions of dollars in losses stemming from exposure to toxic mortgage-related securities.
Lawmakers also upbraided Sullivan, who ran the firm from 2005 until June of this year, for urging AIG's board of directors to waive pay guidelines to win a $5 million bonus for 2007 — even as the company lost $5 billion in the 4th quarter of that year. Sullivan countered that he was mainly concerned with helping other senior executives.

Douchebags of the week: The Federal Government

It just gets worse and worse and worse. So the economy is crashing down around us, basically because of this bogus war. We are spending 10 billion dollars a month on it. Banks are closing. Little kids are crying. Dogs and cats are getting along. Everything is insane right now. So our governments latest great idea is to spend about 3 trillion dollars to save the companies that are closing down. That's funny cause I thought that we were broke as a country? So the government can save insurance companies, like AIG, but can't afford to lend money to states who want to keep schools open or increase salaries. This whole country is completely fucked up. It just becomes more and more plainly evident that Obama needs to win this election. Since when has the Federal Government been known to bail people out? I mean really. These are the same fuckers that will take your house if your taxes are fucked up. Or make you pay more taxes @ the end of the year. Now they're bailing people out. The power of money is some serious shit. They broke they damn necks to come up with a quick fix and what they came up with is possibly the worst idea ever. So congratulations U.S. federal Government. You are the douchebags of the week. Can't wait for the election...

Krizz

Douchebags of the week: Everyone who attended the RNC

So I'm fresh off a long night of performing and promoting, good and tipsy still, and I'm ready to let loose. I HATE REPUBLICANS. Well politicians in general, but the Repubs are on the top of the list. Have you ever seen such a group of liars and out of touch people? Let's start with the speakers, Fred Thompson is up first. I believe he got up there and tried to call Obama a celebrity and a do nothing. Weren't you in a bunch of B movies? I think he was in Die Hard 2. The worst one by the way. Wasn't Ronald Reagan an actor too? I don't wanna hear nuthin you gotta say Fred Thompson. The turncoat with the droopy cheeks, Joe Lieberman, or something like that. Ranted and raved that McCain needs to be pres cause he got tortured blah blah blah. Who gives a fuck that McCain got tortured? Certainly not me. I mean it's fucked up and all but really, as Taz said previously, what's that got to do with 2009? Nothing. Bush's wife, who proved that she can't speak very well either, got up there looking like new millenium cave bitch and basically said nothing for twenty minutes. There were a few more forgettable appearances by some other politicians. The guy with the beaver teeth, Mike Huckabee, is a funny looking dude by the way. Bush showed up via satellite looking half drunk claiming he couldn't be there cause he had to monitor hurricane Gustapo or whatever. I guess he's tryin to make up for the Katrina disaster. Then this Palin chick. She's a mess. She went on about hockey moms and fishing and shit. Reality check lady, that's only shit that happens in Alaska and Canada. Tell me about the gang violence and drug problems of the inner city. Oh that's right you can't cause you don't have an inner city cause your from Alaska. Aint shit happening in Alaska. You know there was an official quote from her, not too long before she was named McCain's choice for VP, where she actually said "Can someone tell me exactly what the Vice President does?" Yeah great choice McCain. One thing is clear though, this chick likes to fuck. And apparently her children are following in her footsteps. Her whorish daughter could get it though. Then McCain went for 45 minutes jerking everyone off who came out in support of him. After that he proceeded to say what he was going to change but failed to mention how he was going to do it. I guess he forgot. Old people do that sometimes. What America needs is someone who is in touch with present day. Not someone who is living in the past and will continue to take the country further down the trail of destruction that we are heading for currently. Furthermore the blatent lies they were telling were hilarious. They touted all of Sarah Palin's accomplishments but failed to mention that she left Alaska in debt after she was done. The only thing she did for Alaska was give them a tax break one year. Subsequently though she raised taxes on other things the people wouldn't notice so she could build a new ice rink. What a mess. So Congratulations RNC. You are the douchebags of the week. BTW all those people need a fashion tip.

Krizz

Douchebag of the week: P. Diddy

(Big shout out to my homegirl Kristina for this one....) Usually I rant on for a few paragraphs about why the person I chose is a douchebag. This week, however, I will let P. Diddy explain himself exactly why he is my choice for this week. He actually bitches about high gas prices! The man who bought a 35 million dollar home in Florida complaining about gas prices. "It costs me $250,000 to fill up my private jet. So now I gotta fly commercial."I thought you said no bitchassness Diddy, but here you are clearly being a bitchass. Anyways, congrats Sean "P.Diddy, Puffy, Puff Daddy, Sean John, blah, blah, blah" Combs. You are the Douchebag of the Week. Roll film...


Krizz