MESS OF THE WEEK: Destiny's Child

When will this chick learn? I like the chick, but she tries too damn hard. We know she can sing, but why she gotta squeeze dozens of boring ballads and covers ballads into all her shows? Where she really went wrong though is with the Alanis Morrisette "You Oughta Know" cover. How you gonna cover "You Oughta Know", and take out the "...are you thinking of me when you fuck her" lyric? If she is really going to be fierce than the bitch needs to rock out with her cock out and stop trying to play it safe. Her tours suffer the same problems as her albums. She has entirely too many boring ballads stuffed in and they fuck everything up.

Our second diva of destiny to get shitted on this week is Kelly Rowland. She should have known better than to fuck with the Matthew and Tina Knowles. Two months ago she boldly announced that she was firing Matthew Knowles as her manager. This, of course was wise, cause he wasn't helping her career much anyway. Sadly however, this week Sony has dropped her black ass siting the fact that she was no longer commercially viable which is pretty fucked up considering she has sold 4 million records as a solo artist worldwide.

TAZ

Mess of the Week!!!! 12/1/2008 thru 12/6/2008 Beyonce the ASS!!!

Supposedly, there is a remix of Beyonce’s single, “If I Were a Boy,” floating around here featuring R. Kelly and I just wanna say, what the fuck are you thinking Sasha? Who works with R. Kelly anymore after that porno video when he has his piss in that little girl’s face and his finger in her ass?

Ya’ll motherfuckers didn’t see that. I got the deluxe version. LMAO

Yeah he got off, but we all know exactly what time it is. Weren’t you and Aaliyah friends? Didn’t you see the “Boondocks” episode when R. Kelly is on trial? We all want a number 1 single, but at some point we get so desperate in our search that we become down right messy.

And if this is a lie, or you didn’t approve of his remix, or if it is just someone who sounds like R.kelly, than you are still the mess of the week for that Lil Wayne bite you did with that song, “Diva”. I can’t wait for your new film though.

TAZ

A 2008 Messy Year in Review: Which Pop Princess Released the Best 2008 Album?

Janet Jackson, Madonna, and Mariah Cannon all released albums in early 2008, and now with the pop queens out the way, the end of 2008 brings with it the return of pop culture's most adored and sometimes scorned pop princesses.

Which album should you get?

P!nk's "Funhouse"

P!nk was first out the gate scoring her first number 1 hit during the fall with "So What". So what is a bad ass, tough girl, arena rocking anthem that will surely go down as a classic. The album its self features less party anthems then the usual P!nk project, but chilling new ballads like Sober", "I Don't Believe You", and "Crystal Ball" will keep you coming back to the "Funhouse" to play.

Quiet as its kept, "Please Don't Leave me" might be the best song of her career.

4 out of 5 stars****

Beyonce's "I'am...Sasha Fierce"

Rihanna topped Beyonce in number 1 singles this year when she scored her T.I assisted 5th with "Live Your Life", but with 2 singles currently in the top 5, Beyonce A.K.A Sasha Fierce is back to even the odds and show herself to still be pop's reigning princess. The album is split into 2 cds. The first is filled with tired piano ballads that you would expect from American Idol losers like Tamyra Gray, and the second is packed with Beyonce's normal club bangers. Each cd has its good songs and its fillers, the 'Sasha Fierce' one being the stronger of the 2, but had Beyonce placed the bland fillers on each in a box to the left, she would have had a sure fire classic. "Single Ladies(Put a Ring on it)", "Halo", the Lil Wayne inspired "Diva", "Radio", and maybe even "Hello" all have potential to be massive hits.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars***1/2

Britney Spears "Circus"

Who would have guessed Britney Spears would actually comeback hard? "Womanizer" became the second number 1 single of her 10 year career in 2008, but it sucked. Even with an excellent video, it is definitely one of the weakest songs on a cd that attacks paparazzi, retreads Britney's usual blow up doll sexuality, and even speaks on other rehab mainstay celebrities in the awesome "If You Seek Amy". Unlike last year's sexy "Blackout" album, "Circus" doesn't sound phoned in, and Britney often trades in her own nasal delivery for a convincing Janet Jackson coo.

Must hear songs include the title track, "Unusual You", "Out from Under", "Kill the Lights, "Shattered Glass", and "My Baby".

4 out of 5 stars

Which album do you leave to collect dust on the shelf at Target?

Christina Aguilera "Keeps Getting Better"

Tired ass Christina Aguilera's greatest hits package leaves much to be desired. First of all, the dirty diva claims she is doing something new as usual, but is mimicking Britney, Madonna, and Kylie who have all done electronica over the past few years with much more creativity. Her hits from that boring ass third album are here, but were they really ever hits?

Baby Jane sit down.

The masterpieces that she does have she remixed so that they feel more like 2007 Britney Spears' rejects, and not the centerpieces of her impressive catalog.

Fuck it, I give her 1 star for just fucking up an amazing song like "Beautiful". I should punch her in the head for fucking that song up. It should have went to P!nk anyway.

If you still need your dose of Xtina download "What a Girl Wants," and "Beautiful".

1 1/2 out of 5 stars*1/2

TAZ

PS: If you disagree with my review, post a comment!!!

Mess of the Week: Tyra Banks bobble head looking ass.

So apparently Trya Banks has been running around here blasting pop stars and actresses like Beyonce, Rihanna and Halle Berry for 'stealing' all the make up endorsements. In her mind these endorsements should be for super models. This coming just a few weeks after Naomi Campbell has declared there were no more real super models these days.

Reality check Tyra, you have done films, you have just won an emmy, and you've also attempted to release a pop dance hit that happened to bomb. Were you trying to 'steal' the actress and pop stars flavor?

Also with America's Top model, you have taken the mystery out of the super model. We get to see them live on TV, acting stupid, and with big sores and acne all over their face.

You can't go finger pointing then you've done the same thing, and downgraded the super model as a whole.

I actually like Tyra, but she needs to stop hating cause its not a good look.

LMAO

TAZ

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http://www.freshnews.in/tyra-banks-blames-celebs-of-stealing-supermodels’-thunder-50520

Washington, Aug 13 (ANI): With actresses and singers striking lucrative deals with cosmetic giants, Tyra Banks has said that the celebrity models are stealing cosmetic contracts from hard-up supermodels.
The catwalk queen-turned TV talk show host insists that models find it harder to land money-spinning deals with fashion, make-up and fragrance firms, who in turn prefer celebrity models for their adverts.
“I think all supermodels now are losing out to celebrities. It’’s celebrities who are getting the cosmetics contracts,” Contactmusic quoted Banks, as saying.
Pop stars and Hollywood’’s leading ladies like Jennifer Connelly, Eva Mendes and Beyonce Knowles are being sought to promote cosmetic products, leaving professional models in the lurch.
While Connolly promotes Revlon and Mendes works for Calvin Klein, Knowles is a spokesmodel for L”Oreal. (ANI)

This is Just a Jackson week for me. LOL I just got invited to see Miss Jackson perform on TRL in Time Square for her album release on Tuesday.

This is great. Great. Great. Great. I touched Janet's hand when I was 13. She let me sing part of the hook to "Thats The Way Loves Goes", and Stevie Krizz caught her sweaty towel that she routinely throws into the crowd after a performance of "Lets Wait Awhile". Now I get to meet her finally.

On another note, on Perez Hilton's diva show, Janet named her favorite up and coming 'divas' of the moment which included my soon to be wife, Pink, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, and Rihanna.

Get it ladies.

Over the years, the Unstoppable Nuklehidz and MTV have had a weird relationship. We've did both "Wannabes: Outkast", and "Say What Karaoke" with them, and then after they dissed Janet and got all racist and sexiest with the superbowl incident and Justin Timberlake, I took them off my Christmas list. Now, Its safe to say I put their stocking back up over the fire. LMAO.

Taz Jonez